JOHNS

Crypto is my toxic ex – I can’t leave but I know I should.

I’d rather lose money in DeFi than gain money in TradFi.

I used to have real hobbies, now I just refresh CoinGecko.

I bought the dip, then it dipped again.

My long-term strategy? Hold and hope.

I farm yield, but the real harvest is pain.

The only staking I should be doing is in my diet.

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I still believe in the tech, even if my wallet doesn’t.

My ideal love language? Sending gas money.

The only red I want to see is in my steak, not my portfolio.