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Why did the computer catch a cold? It left its Windows open, and now it keeps freezing whenever it boots up.

Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing and realized it wasn’t prepared for such a spicy situation!

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired after a long ride, but the unicycle just kept rolling along.

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts, but they do have a bone to pick with everyone.

A lawyer, a doctor, and a programmer are discussing whose profession is the oldest. The doctor says, "Medicine has been around since ancient times!" The lawyer says, "Law existed since civilization began!" The programmer laughs, "Who do you think wrote the code for the universe’s 'l

A SQL query walks into a bar and sees two tables. It walks up and says, "May I join you?" One table replies, "Only if you’re indexed properly." The other table sighs, "Great, now we’re going to get locked in a deadlock!"